The AAMFT Blog

Celebrating Pioneers - LGBTQ+ Advocates in Family Therapy

Written by Ivonne Harting (She/Her) LAC, LPCC, MFTC, NCC

Diversity has always existed; it’s an intrinsic part of the human condition. Why is understanding diversity crucial in today's society? There isn’t a single person on Earth who is exactly like another. Yet, we often choose to rival our differences instead of rejoicing in them. Although we recognize the importance of support and acceptance as a society, hesitation still exists. Fortunately, we have made significant strides in celebrating diversity, particularly within the LGBTQIA+ community, which has relied on brave pioneers to advocate for our rights and illuminate the battles we face.

In honor of LGBTQIA+ History Month, I want to highlight one such pioneer: Dr. Deborah Coolhart. She is a prominent voice in family therapy, especially known for her work with trans and gender-expansive youth. Dr. Coolhart has made significant contributions to gender-affirmative therapy, centering the needs and voices of LGBTQIA+ youth in family therapy practices.

Dr. Coolhart emphasizes the critical importance of support—especially family support—in fostering positive mental health outcomes for LGBTQIA+ individuals. In her work, she discusses how dysphoria affects not just the mental health of trans masculine individuals, but also their physical and relational well-being. She states, “Because your dysphoria gets in the way of you…it affects everything.” This highlights the profound impact body dysphoria can have on a person’s identity and daily functioning. Addressing dysphoria through gender-affirming practices in therapy is essential, as it not only validates the experiences of trans individuals but also creates an environment where families can learn to support their loved ones effectively.

Dr. Coolhart’s work resonates deeply with me, especially as I reflect on my own experiences as a queer therapist. I remember the fear I felt when contemplating coming out to my family. Growing up in Venezuela—a society that lacks inclusivity regarding anything outside of heteronormativity—having a safe space that normalized discussions about gender and sexuality would have been life-changing. Such an environment would have allowed my family to understand my experiences from a different perspective and receive psychoeducation on how to support and accept me. This is what I believe our current society needs more of: education—not just about tolerance and acceptance, but about love and empathy. Community workshops and educational programs can play a vital role in fostering this understanding.

The progress we have seen in our field is monumental! We have transitioned from homosexuality being classified as a disorder in the DSM-I in 1952, to professionals like Dr. Coolhart advocating for and researching gender-affirming care, driving positive change in family therapy. It is clear that there is nothing we need to change about gender-diverse individuals. Conversion therapy is not the answer. Inclusion is. Let history be a reminder of how far we’ve come and where we are yet to go. Let’s continue to find ways to contribute as professionals, fostering environments that celebrate diversity and support all individuals in their journeys.

With love and pride,

Ivonne

Urgent: Please Contact Congress Now to Advocate for MFTs as Medicare Providers

This week, Congress is drafting a large end of year package that will fund the federal government through September 2023, as well as make some helpful changes to federal law. MFT advocates are pushing Congress to include in this package the Mental Health Access Improvement Act (S. 828/H.R. 432), legislation that would allow MFTs and MHCs to serve as Medicare-eligible providers. We need this package to include the MFTs in Medicare legislation. Please contact your Members of Congress today to advocate for MFTs as Medicare providers. 

Contact Congress Now 

As of December 15, high-level negotiations are taking place on Capitol Hill as to how to fund the government for the rest of fiscal year 2023. These negotiations will wrap up soon. If Congress decides to pass an end of year package, also known as an Omnibus funding bill, as opposed to a Continuing Resolution which simply continues funding levels from already passed bills, Congress COULD include other policy initiatives, such as the Mental Health Access Improvement Act. For this reason, we urge you to contact your Senators and Representative in Congress NOW and urge them to include MFTs in Medicare as part of the end of the year funding legislation.  

    

Background and Progress 

Introduced in 2021 as H.R. 432 by Rep. Mike Thompson (D-CA) and Rep. John Katko (R-NY) and as S. 828 by Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY) and Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), the Mental Health Access Improvement Act is a bill that would finally allow both  Marriage and Family Therapists and Mental Health Counselors to serve as independent Medicare Part B practitioners. This legislation would allow MFTs and MHCs to bill Medicare for providing covered mental health and substance use services to older adults and other Medicare beneficiaries.   

Since this legislation was introduced in early 2021, AAMFT and its allies in the Medicare Mental Health Workforce Coalition, who also advocate for passage of the Mental Health Access Improvement Act, have made substantial progress in advancing this legislation so that it could be eligible for inclusion in the end of year package: 

Support in the House of Representatives: Currently, 97 Members in the House of Representatives are cosponsoring H.R. 432, with strong bipartisan support. Earlier this year, the Mental Health Access Improvement Act was passed by a key House committee with jurisdiction over Medicare. On September 21, the House Ways and Means Committee met to discuss and vote to move several bills to the full House of Representatives, a process known as a committee markup. At this markup, the Ways and Means committee unanimously voted to move to the full House for consideration the Mental Health Access Improvement Act (H.R. 432). This vote was an important step in the process of moving this legislation forward. Legislation that has been approved by a committee is more likely to be considered in a larger package than bills that have not been considered by a committee. 

Support in the Senate: In the Senate, 34 Senators are cosponsoring S. 828, which is a record amount of support for any MFTs and MHCs in Medicare legislation in the Senate. In September, the Senate Finance Committee, which has jurisdiction over Medicare in the Senate, released a discussion draft of legislation to address mental health workforce needs and challenges. This draft includes legislation to add MFTs and MHCs as Medicare providers (S. 828), along with many other provisions to expand the behavioral health workforce. The release of this draft represents the most important action by the Senate in twelve years pertaining to adding MFTs and MHCs as Medicare providers. Please see this AAMFT Blog for additional information on the committee actions from September.   

Support from AAMFT Members and Allies: MFTs, as well as MHCs, other mental health providers, and allies, have been active and engaged in reaching out to their Members of Congress to advocate for the Mental Health Access Improvement Act. Thousands of email messages in support of this legislation have been sent by MFTs and MHCs to Congress. AAMFT members and other mental health providers have met with the offices of Members of Congress to advocate for this issue as well as AAMFT and its allies in the Medicare Mental Health Workforce Coalition. 

In addition, inclusion of the Mental Health Access Improvement Act in the end of year package is supported by a wide number of organizations besides associations representing MFTs and MHCs. Congress has received letters of support for including this legislation in the end of year package from groups as diverse as the Mental Health Liaison Group and the American Hospital Association. 

 

What You Can Do   

 Negotiations are occurring now to determine which bills make it into the omnibus, and it is unknown which bills would be included. These negotiations will end very soon, and a vote on the end of year package will occur next week. This is the best opportunity for passage of the MFTs in Medicare legislation in over twelve years. Therefore, it is imperative to contact your Members of Congress NOW to let them know that you want Congress to include the Mental Health Access Improvement Act in the end of year package.   

Finally, you can advocate for MFTs in Medicare by sending a message to your Members of Congress through AAMFT’s grassroots advocacy platform. If you have friends, family or colleagues who are also constituents of your Member of Congress, they can use this grassroots advocacy platform to send a message advocating for MFTs in Medicare. If you wish to send a more personalized message to your Members of Congress, use this link to find your Members of Congress and click on their profiles to find their D.C. office contact information.  

 

Thank you in advance for advocating for MFTs as Medicare providers. Please contact us at [email protected] if you have any questions.   

The Respect for Marriage Act – The MFT Perspective

Just last week, the Respect for Marriage Act passed in the House 258-169, marking an incredibly historic moment for not only the country, but also for marriage and family therapists. The first version of this bill was originally introduced back in 2009 and was reintroduced into Congress this past summer. The revised version still included protections for same-sex marriages, but now extends protections to interracial couples. The Senate previously passed the bill in November. 

The bill is on its way to Biden’s desk, which he says upon House passage of the bill, President Biden said he “looks forward to signing into law” this landmark legislation. Biden writes, “The House’s bipartisan passage of the Respect for Marriage Act—by a significant margin—will give peace of mind to millions of LGBTQI+ and interracial couples who are now guaranteed the rights and protections to which they and their children are entitled.” Biden signed the bill yesterday afternoon during a large celebration at the White House, marking a huge step forward for the field of marriage and family therapy.  

This past year, the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy (JMFT) released its Decade In Review– a special issue released every ten years that reviews what the past 10 years of systemic therapy research has to say about various topics within the field. This review included a special article on how couple and family therapy research can reduce mental health disparities for racially and ethnically diverse populations. The article reviewed research surrounding minority, interracial and LGBTQI+ couples, advocating for their inclusion in systemic therapy research and studies in order to advance the field.  

LGBTQI+ individuals are already more likely to struggle with issues like depression and anxiety, due to the stigmas and discrimination they face. Similarly, interracial couples face issues with stereotyping, isolation, negative comments, and rejection, which can often lead and contribute to mental health issues. These mental health concerns impact more than just the individual– they affect the entire family, marriage, and relationship structure. Thus, marriage and family therapy can help address and resolve these issues from a systemic perspective, mitigating any stressors or implications they may cause in marriages.  

JMFT’s Decade in Review article on mental health disparities noted that only 68 of the 271 (25%) articles they examined included predominantly racial/ethnic minority samples or globally underserved populations. Among the 60 relevant articles examined, there was a pattern of inattention to methodological considerations relevant to diverse populations. LGBTQI+ and interracial couples deserve to have the mental health and marriage therapy resources they need to maintain healthy relationships. The passing of this bill is just the first step towards including, accepting, and appreciating LGBTQI and interracial couples, both inside and outside the therapy room. 

Systemic Racism and the Asian American Community

Johnny Kim and his 16-year old daughter were on the way to her school when she told him about a school newspaper article she was writing concerning hate crimes directed at Asian Americans, designed to address the Atlanta shooting where six women of Asian descent were killed. He was pleased and proud she was helping to raise awareness of the issue, but thought she should know it wasn’t an isolated incident.

“I told her that all the things she is hearing and reading—I grew up with them. The aggression and discrimination are things I experienced my whole life. Most Asian Americans have,” says Kim, a professor in the Graduate School of Social Work at the University of Denver, whose family came to the US from Korea when he was three. 

Jessica ChenFeng, LMFT, an associate professor at Loma Linda University who has worked closely with the Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) community on issues related to discrimination, agrees and says the issue has had a more dramatic effect on emotional health in the community than is evident.

“Hatred of Asians and Asian Americans is not new in U.S. history. Most Asian Americans feel some degree of not belonging and have faced a ‘perpetual foreigner’ experience even if they were born in Los Angeles like myself,” she says. “They’ve likely had a lifetime of microaggressions or explicit racist experiences. This year has just exacerbated these experiences and put them on the forefront of our public discourse and awareness.”

This year, Asian Americans had reported they have been targeted at least 500 times by the end of February, according to the organization Stop AAPI Hate. About 68% of the cases involved verbal assault and 11% were physical attacks. Since it began tracing violence and harassment of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders about a year ago, it has received about 3,800 complaints. Women are more often the target, suffering nearly 70 of the attacks.

The attacks often link members of the AAPI community to the COVID-19 pandemic, a problem some believe was exacerbated by public officials referring to it as the “China Virus” or other names that connected it to Asia.

Kim, who has offered presentations on the topic for AAMFT and others, says while he believes his daughter’s generation will be more accepting of various races and cultures, the cumulative fear and helplessness in most of the Asian American community from years of mistreatment will linger for some time.

And he and ChenFeng both says therapists will have to find ways to reach out to members of this community, who are sometimes reluctant to seek help for emotional problems. They will have to find approaches that fit the culture and the individuals’ unique experience.

ChenFeng notes that Asian Americans have a different experience than Asians, and a Pacific Islander’s is different still. But hate crimes can be aimed at any of them, she says.

“These are very different populations in terms of their lived experiences in America. However, especially recently, if anyone presents as phenotypically ‘Asian’ they can be targeted in hate crimes.” Sensitivity to the distinct experience of the client is key, she says.

“It’s helpful to start with a working knowledge base of information about the group, but to be open hearted about how each client and their family may have a different experience from what we have read or heard about,” she says. “Asian American families are not a set of cultural norms and beliefs. They are very much dynamic, always changing and adapting, and impacted by their racialization being in America.”

 

Differing attitudes

Subtle attitudes about emotional health among members of the AAPI community may cause them to feel addressing them or even reporting a hate crime shows weakness or reflects badly on one’s family. A strong belief in the connection between emotional and physical health may also play a role in their reluctance to rely on emotional support services, experts say.

Kim notes that a Gallup poll survey found Asians had the highest incidence of employment discrimination of any group at around 30% but filed less than three percent of the employment discrimination complaints from private firms.

“So, there is evidence of this reluctance to speak up about racial discrimination within the Asian community.”

He also notes they may have “a collectivist view” that seeks harmony and avoids group conflict. “Asians prefer to keep information about problems within the family rather than seek outside help,” he also says.

Such attitudes and a strong sense that the individual should rely on willpower may cause dramatic emotional upheaval when they are discriminated against or subjected to violence. And ChenFeng notes that this gap can create inter-generational stress. Later generations of Asian Americans are wanting to speak up against discrimination while some first generation elders, due to their previous racial experiences, may think it’s better to keep their heads down.

“When a second generation of Asian Americans struggles with mental health concerns, their parents may not understand why and discourage them from seeking out mental healthcare because they are afraid of judgment or stigma.” Therapists should be aware of the generational differences, including the unique experiences of many in the community who have faced turbulent or traumatic periods in their home countries or as part of life in America.

She also notes that therapy is a western concept and many Asian cultures have “cultural models of healing that have supported them for centuries such as traditional Chinese medicine and its understanding of how the body and emotions are interconnected.” 

 

Looking for solutions

Kim is an expert in solution focused brief therapy and believes it is well suited to working with the AAPI population because of the trauma they may have suffered long term or more recently in the rash of attacks.

As the name implies, SFBT helps the client discover coping strategies rather than dissect the emotional problems they are facing and its causes, which may be more comfortable for a culture where delving deeply into an issue is conflicting. It implies that the client is the “expert” and can develop solutions that work for them, which can lessen the chance that a therapist of another culture might put too much emphasis on their own values. It is also goal oriented, which might be more comfortable to some in the community, rather than therapy that looks backward.

“Most importantly, SFBT helps clients have hope in their lives by helping them believe things can get better and helping them identify the pathway to get there, which are the two key components of Hope Theory.”

ChenFeng says therapists may find it is important to address the issues of the client’s community and family.

“In many Asian cultures, saving face is a significant cultural value. This is much more complex than what people believe it to mean. It is about not only saving your own face, but that of others. It is a way of respecting self and community and family. Because of this, it feels uncomfortable or disrespectful to share about the difficult things in one’s own family, especially to a stranger or a therapist.” 

“I often say to clients ‘I know this is not easy to speak about your family in this way. I want you to know that I see your parents as having done the best they could do, and you sharing about this doesn’t make me think any less of them.’ It’s important to validate that any Asian American family will have experienced pain and struggle in their relationship with the dominant U.S. culture. The racialized expectations and assumptions put on the Asian American family exacerbate the tensions already felt intrapersonally and interpersonally.”

Some optimism
ChenFeng believes the longer someone has resided in the U.S, the more open they are to therapy and that there are important efforts to decrease stigma so that communities are not “hurting in isolation.” 

Kim says that he believes his daughter may have an easier time because there is more awareness of the Asian community in the United States through arenas like entertainment, food, sports and travel. In addition, he and others believe cultural stigma around mental health counseling within the Asian community may shift over time since younger people are less likely to hold them.

“I’m optimistic” he says, “but we still have a long way to go, and therapists can help by working with members of this community to better promote mental and emotional wellbeing through psychotherapy.

Resources:

Anti-racism resources to support Asian American, Pacific Islander community (NBC News)

Anti-Racism Resources for the AAPI Community (Asian American Studies, Cornell)

AAMFT Statement on MFT Responsibility to Counter Racism

Recognizing that relationships are fundamental to the health and well‐being of individuals, couples, families, and communities, AAMFT exists to advance the profession and the practice of marriage and family therapy. Because we value how systems impact families and communities, AAMFT is outraged by the continued racial trauma, violence, and loss that our communities of color are experiencing in this country.

Our members, our clients, and our society are hurting deeply and we must stand together and in solidarity against injustice. There is no room in our society for inequality and it is vital that we use our platform, relationships, and training to enact change. It is a core value in AAMFT to support, promote, and protect diversity, to value all individuals and groups as free from prejudice and oppression as possible, and to foster a climate where equity and mutual respect are intrinsic.

Marriage and family therapists have a direct responsibility to counter racism. We are uniquely positioned to understand and recognize the systemic effect that oppression, inequity, and overt and covert racism have on individuals in marginalized communities and have a role in fostering healing and growth. Therefore, AAMFT stands in support of our members dedicated to advancing the fundamental rights, health, safety, and well-being of all individuals, relationships, and communities. We encourage all members to have authentic dialogue to advance systemic change. As an organization, we will continue to advocate against societal inequalities and seek solutions in our clinical, research, community, and policy work to ensure that vital change is occurring.

Resources for MFTs in a Racialized Climate

AAMFT encourages authentic dialogue within the MFT community on race and trauma. Marriage and family therapists understand and recognize the systemic effect that oppression, inequity, and overt and covert racism have on individuals in marginalized communities, and have a role in fostering healing and maintaining change.

Find the following resources below:

• For Persons of Color about Self Care
• Practical Ways to Counter Racism  and Support Black People as MFTs
• Recommended Reading List

Recommended Resources: 

• Courageous Conversations with Our Clients
• Mental Health and Black Adolescents - Ashley Hicks White, PhD
• Black Women and Depression: Removing the Cape - DeAnna Harris-McCoy, PhD and Taimyr Strachan, MS
• The Relevance of Social Justice for Today's Therapists - Nicole Perryman, MA, MSW
• First Person: Dear Black Professionals of AAMFT - Cherry Tolbert, MA
• Anti-racism resources - compiled by Sarah Sophie Flicker and Alyssa Klein

For Persons of Color about Self Care:

Radical Self-Care

Strategies for Healing

Practical Ways to Counter Racism and Support Black People as MFTs:

1. Acknowledge that racism and discrimination exist and is currently prevalent.
2. Acknowledge your power and privilege due to your social location. Privilege is when a person or group of persons are afforded special rights, immunities, and/or advantages that others are not afforded. Your privilege may be connected to the intersection of your race, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, level education, physical ability. You may experience simultaneous privilege and subjugation. It is important that we are aware and are accountable for the areas in which we are privileged. We all share the privilege of serving as clinicians and/or researchers. We must be accountable for the advantages and responsibilities this connected to our position.
3. Take inventory of your own biases and assumptions. This can be done by being aware of your immediate reactions to the plethora of media reports and social media posts connected to race and racial crimes. What do you assume to be “true”? What informs this “truth” for you?
4. Balance your conversations – remain in conversation with those of the same and different viewpoints. If the majority of your personal conversations mirror your personal beliefs, the ability to expand your perceptions and understanding in your professional role is quite limited.
5. Your clients should not be the only people of color that you are in relational conversation. No matter how we view it, you are in the role of power as a therapist, and should allow yourself space to converse with others of whom you do not maintain a ‘power over’ position.
6. Begin to become comfortable with discomfort. Avoid offering a, “that’s interesting,” to your client, friend, or someone else who is trying to “go there,” in terms of a conversation or sharing their experience connected to race. Engage in the conversation.
7. Be willing to really hear the experiences of black people. We all want to be heard, but the conversation is often paralyzed, as there is far little safe space for black people to process what is going on for them, with so much exposure to racial trauma.
8. Despite your own possible feelings, refrain from minimizing experiences of marginalized groups. Although you may have your own story, that does not negate the experiences of those who have been marginalized, or make their experiences any less real.
9. Work for change out of love and not guilt. If you are guided by your own guilt, you may seek validation from black people, which, again, prioritizes your own experience. This, again, is steeped in white supremacy.
10. Challenge those who trust you. If one trusts you enough to share their racist joke with you, become curious about their intentions and beliefs. Keep people accountable and responsible for their language and actions. Why are they so comfortable with racist ideology with you?
11. Connect harmless racism with hate crimes. The Charleston perpetrator’s friends have repeatedly stated that he told “harmless, racist jokes.” Any form of racism has deleterious effects. People around him were complicit or explicitly supporting his ideology. Counter it.
12. Just as we would become quite curious if we suspected child, elder, or partner abuse as clinicians, we should be as sensitive to racism, as its effects have proven to be just as, if not more dangerous, as other crimes against others.

Recommended Reading List

Why Pride Matters for Marriage and Family Therapists

June is celebrated by many as Pride month. The first Pride march was established through the courage of Brenda Howard, a bisexual woman reverently known as the "Mother of Pride." This was due to her work coordinating first a rally and then the Christopher Street Liberation Day March to commemorate the first anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, which happened on June 28, 1969. These riots were led by trans feminine people of color-such as Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson- tired of being targeted and criminalized by the police because of their race, ethnicity, gender and sexuality. It is important to remember, now more than ever, that Pride was initially rooted in active resistance to pathology, criminalization, racism, transphobia and queerphobia. Pride, at its best, is about celebration of the wonderful and essential diversity of genders and sexualities, it is about community and the family that many of us find with one another when faced with rejection or misunderstanding by our families of origin.

For many trans and queer individual and families, Pride is a time to remember that we are not alone, to celebrate our survival and to come together. Pride is also complicated given that in many places corporations use it as yet another way to push capitalist consumption and many parades often have a police presence, which can make Pride feel unsafe for many trans and queer people, especially Black and Brown members of our communities who are too often impacted by systemic violence. Yet, every year since 1970 in this place we currently call the United States, Pride is celebrated, mostly during the month of June and many trans and queer people find safety, acceptance and community through Pride-related events.

As marriage and family therapists we know how important systems of support are, how essential families and relationships, and a sense of belonging to community are to our well-being. As systemic therapists we are uniquely located to support queer and trans families, as well as colleagues, not only during Pride month but all year long. For example, we know from research evidence that family support is a protective factor for trans, nonbinary and queer youth and we can have an instrumental role in this process. In alignment with our code of ethics and our commitment to health across communities, we can disrupt the ongoing systemic dynamics contributing to systemic oppression and violence against trans and queer people, especially trans feminine people of color.

May this Pride season remind us that our communities thrive when we can celebrate the wonderful gender and sexual diversity in our humanity and that we, as marriage and family therapists, have a unique role to play in the ongoing survival, resistance, celebration and support of gender and sexual minorities.

 

Alex Iantaffi, PhD, MS, SEP, CST, LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Clinical Fellow and Approved Supervisor with the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapists, Certified Sex Therapist with the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, Somatic ExperiencingⓇ practitioner, writer and independent scholar. Alex co-owns a small group private practice, Edges Wellness Center LLC, and is passionate about healing justice and community-based scholarship. They are adjunct faculty at the University of Wisconsin-Stout, where they teach on the Graduate Certificate in Sex Therapy. They were the Editor-in-Chief for the Journal of Sexual and Relationship Therapy for eleven years and have researched, presented and published extensively on gender, disability, sexuality, bisexuality, polyamory, BDSM, Deafness, education, sexual health, HIV prevention, and transgender issues. Alex is the Chair Elect of the Queer and Trans Advocacy Network.

Statement on Border Separation of Children from Parents

Marriage and family therapists are defined by an enduring dedication to professional and ethical excellence, as well as the commitment to service, advocacy, and public participation. The areas of service, advocacy, and public participation are recognized as responsibilities to the profession equal in importance to all other aspects (AAMFT Code of Ethics, Preamble).

AAMFT strives to make contributions and engage in public participation in line with our Code of Ethics. Further, in our Statement on Immigration Policy, “AAMFT is equally dedicated to holding true to the position that we assert the value and positive impact of stable, long-term, emotionally enriching relationships. We believe that society is better off when social groupings are created that allow for and support these qualities – not creates fragmentation and segmentation.”

AAMFT is aware of the zero-tolerance policy and we steadfastly believe that any forced separation of children from families works against long-term, emotionally enriching families. AAMFT stands with over 170 organizations and over 9,300 mental health professionals in signing the Stop Border Separation of Children from Parents petition. AAMFT also stands with our sister associations – American Psychological Association and the National Association of Social Workers - in denouncing the purposeful infliction of trauma resulting from separation of immigrant families.

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The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, Washington, D.C., is the largest national association for marriage and family therapists representing the professional interests of over 60,000 marriage and family therapists. Recognizing that relationships are fundamental to the health and well‐being of individuals, couples, families, and communities, AAMFT exists to advance the profession and the practice of marriage and family therapy. Relationships matter!

Tough Conversations: Helping Our Kids with Political Bullying and Violence

Shaming, bullying, name-calling, silencing, and other forms of abuse among children and teenagers can take an especially sharp turn when exacerbated by a negative political or bigoted atmosphere. For adult role models, such as teachers, parents, and other prominent adults it can be difficult to know how to talk to kids about the current political climate. The divisive temperature keeps rising and our children may find themselves confused and worried about their family and friends who are at risk of being emotionally or physically harmed and/or displaced.

When political passions and biases are inflamed, divisive political issues inevitably enter the schools as well. Teenagers, in particular, may know enough about politics to become passionate about positions or candidates while lacking the maturity to avoid being intemperate or prejudiced. This combination may lead them to act in hurtful ways toward others.

Bullying is not a new problem facing children and adolescents. However, the current political environment adds a layer of complexity to it. The school yard, for example, can become an arena for heated debate. Like other forms of bullying, too much politicization can very well lead to political bullying and in some cases even violence. Extreme bullying can develop in this context and become particularly acrimonious. Not the mention that various online platforms may become the site for even more insidious and relentless bullying.

It can be hard to know how to handle political bullying when it arises. Children and adolescents are impacted by the environment around them. Adults have a responsibility to set a tone that helps children learn healthy coping mechanisms for managing emotions related to differences. Our tolerance and intolerance, even if intentions are benign, have an impact. If children hear negative comments from an admired and trusted adult, he or she will be influenced toward a similar way of thinking. Remember, children’s brains are developing for a long time before full maturation.

Even at full mental maturation, coping with the tensions that arise from political bullying is challenging. Our own feelings and biases get triggered, which can inadvertently cloud the atmosphere for young impressionable minds.

Addressing political bullying is an element of coping with bullying in general.  Mindfulness and meditation training can help both in responding to bullying, as well as in preventing bullying:

• Mindfulness, especially mindful breathing, can enhance emotional regulation.
• Mindfulness and meditation can improve self-compassion and reduce self-doubt.
• Self-compassion itself is linked with reduced fear, lower self-criticism, higher connectedness, and increased well-being.
• Meditative mindfulness, together with self-compassion, puts the focus on self-growth, humanity, and kindness.

In addition to mindfulness and meditation, some approaches to regulating and discouraging political bullying in particular may include:

• Frequent and open conversations with your child or children. Teach and model tolerance and civility.
• Be age-appropriate and honest when answering a child’s questions. Be mindful of your biases and how that may impact a child’s view of the world.
• Teach children to stay out of aggressive confrontation. This can be a teaching opportunity for everyone. When triggered by the emotional unpleasantness that bullying incites, we go straight to primal defenses and it is hard to move into more rational ways of problem solving.
• Don't get caught in the whirlpool of escalating arguments. If your child is being taunted or bullied, they should treat political bullying as any kind of bullying: withdraw and report the incident to an adult (teacher, parent, or guardian) depending on where it occurred.
• Help tell the story of one’s community with positivity and plucky optimism: energize self-confidence as to withstand political bullying when it does occur. Administrators need to be involved at certain points and incidents officially reported.
• Use a broader family perspective to understand the injuries of bullying and start a healing process by co-constructing a narrative that fosters tolerance, positivity, and acceptance.

A marriage and family therapist (MFT) can be a wonderful resource in times of heightened political tensions that can lead to bullying. If you or your family feel overwhelmed, and disrupted by such tensions, you may benefit from seeking professional help. These are trying times for everyone, and working with a MFT, whose specificity is contextually relational, is a way to help the bully and the victim of bullying move toward healing.

Clinical Fellow Mary-Michael Levitt: Mental Health Lead for the American Red Cross New Jersey

Former Vice President Joe Biden and Mary-Michael Levitt

Over the last 16 years, Mary-Michael Levitt, LMFT, has been on the site of many of the significant events that have affected individuals in the US and other countries- Ground Zero, Hurricane Sandy, Hurricane Irene, the tornadoes in Joplin, MO, and the earthquake in Haiti. The time she volunteers is spent coordinator and supervising mental health volunteers who provide psychological first aid. 

She was recently profiled as an alum of Fairleigh-Dickinson University in an article that highlights her longstanding contributions to the well-being of families and communities through the invaluable work of mental health first response.

Any MFT who has considered volunteering with the Red Cross is encouraged to read Mary-Michael's story and experiences. AAMFT is a member of the American Red Cross Disaster Mental Health Partners coalition for many years, and we communicate with AAMFT members through our social media platforms any needs that the Red Cross has related to disasters.

Several notable quotes by Mary-Michael Levitt from the article:

“The need for comfort and security, for psychological first aid, is the same” — no matter the disaster. The sooner that someone who has suffered a trauma can get assistance, the more hopeful they can be for feeling well. With the right support it quickly turns to, ‘We can do this. We can rebuild and we’ll be stronger than ever.’” 

"Psychological first aid is all about mitigating initial despair, hopelessness and shock, bringing relief to those in conflict. Even though it feels impossible, it’s not impossible. You can feel better.”

“Talk to people after a disaster, and it’s all about hope, people coming together and rebuilding. There’s a great coming together and energy of community. Finding a way to help a family past conflict, through whatever they’re going through — there is hope. This is not permanent. There is a way out. My favorite four-letter word is hope.”

Congratulations to Mary-Michael for this feature and for your longstanding contributions to families and communities through your leadership and volunteer work!

Information about volunteering with the Red Cross can be found here and AAMFT posts links specific to the needs of MFTs as needed. 

Recruiting: MFT to Serve on a Federal Committee

AAMFT members have a unique opportunity to participate in an important federal committee that will be making recommendations to Congress concerning serious mental illness.

SAMHSA is recruiting MFTs and other mental health professions to serve on a federal committee, Interdepartmental Serious Mental Illness Coordinating Committee, that will be examining advances in research relating to serious mental illness and serious emotional disturbance, and the effectiveness of federal programs related to SMI and SED. SAMHSA is looking for 14 non-federal employees to serve on this committee, including MFTs and other mental health professions willing to serve in one of the following five committee positions:

• A licensed mental health professional with a specialty in treating children and adolescents with a serious emotional disturbance;
• A mental health professional who has research or clinical mental health experience in working with minorities;
• A mental health professional who has research or clinical mental health experience in working with medically underserved populations;
• A person with experience providing services for homeless individuals and working with adults with a serious mental illness, children with a serious emotional disturbance, or individuals in a mental health crisis.
• A representative of a leading research, advocacy, or service organization for adults with a serious mental illness

For more information on this committee and the eligibility requirements for providers, please visit SAMHSA's website. Nominations are due to SAMHSA by Friday, June 2.